friendship.

we're bonded in more than one way.

friends dont just disappear. they hold on. the shared moments they have had will still bind them if they let their hands go. even if they want to, they cant. its inexplicable, why something as inconsequential as memories can have such iron fists. but maybe, thats why someone has to reach out, to take the initiative and remind the other that, hey, we've shared too much to just let go now. to look back, take courage in what the Lord has done in both their lives and move forward hand in hand.

I had a big idea,
I had a crazy eye
I broke the sacred seal,
I told a lazy lie.

I've had my conscience bent
I've had my patience tried
I've been up in the desert
and down by the river side

Will the eagle fly
If the sky's untrue,
Do the faithful sigh
Because they are so few.

Remember when I cried,
Remember when you knew
Remember the look in your eyes
I know I do
- jars of clay, Dig.

how time flies.

how time has flown.
along the way many of us have lost ourselves and found God in the process. the hohos and hehes are now sec 4s. which we once were, 4 years ago. a lot has changed during this time. changes within ourselves, between each other and around all of us.
but what intruiges me most is the masks on our faces. i wonder if, for all of us, have we been putting on or taking off those masks? individually, between pairs and in our different groups? did the time that passed us really make much of a difference in our influences on one another? what does it matter anyway? we've come such a long way from being the HAHAs, to having our own big and small cells, that it makes me question; just HOW different are we? deep down inside, did this 4 years really change us much?

abstract art anyone?
i think it just looks random and the only saving grace is the vibrancy of the colors. hahaha. well.. i'll upload some nicer ones soon...

SCC.

rough-housing.
kinyi at the playground.
back to scc, to the happy, chaotic noise. and the smiles that are always true. (: after a whole year of superficial school life, coming back to scc and just watching the kids shout, scream and play, its liberating. and i'm reminded of what it means to be sincere. to laugh and to play, and even to fight and cry.

first day back there as a volunteer and i already saw jimson whacking his own head and claiming that jerome did it! hahahaha. more interesting escapades to come!

its all coming to an end.

april has come and gone, its already May. and.. very soon, i'll get to see my friends again. tomorrow's the last day of the examinations, the last day of year 1 in NUS. i've yet to panic for the upcoming paper, but this academic year cant pass soon enough.
i've gotten myself lost, countless of times. when school first started, when things got rough, when i thought i was doing fine. but God never gave up, and i'm slowly muddling my way back to Him. hanging on and pulling on Him. along the way, i've found that there arent that many people who actually care. people who say they do, but dont, not sincerely anyway. but i've also found, that there are some who are precious blessings. through it all, He's been there. in the background when i pushed Him away, in the foreground when i came crawling back. probably, the most important lesson i've learnt this year, is the wretchedness of our beings. our black dirty selves who dare to stand in God's glory, only by the grace He gives.

a new day is coming. one which is gonna last three months, one that is full of hopes, and dreams and castles in the air. but i know that it is one which i have committed fully to Him. although my flesh still hopes and covets that dive trip with weiqi (:

i guess, i'm glad to be where i am. failures, wounds, scars and everything.

Convinced of my deception
I've always been a fool
I fear this love reaction
Just like you said I would

A rose could never lie
About the love it brings
And I could never promise
To be any of those things

If I was not so weak
If I was not so cold
If I was not so scared of being broken
Growing old
I would be...
I would be...
I would be...
Frail.

Blessed are the shallow
Depth they'll never find
Seems to be some comfort
In rooms I try to hide

Exposed beyond the shadows
You take the cup from me
Your dirt removes my blindness
Your pain becomes my peace

-Frail, Jars of Clay.

WAR.

escape the angry words and sullen faces. its a war zone, or so he thinks. apparently the whole world is out to get him. he's mr righteous, he's mr accused. its always i'm-the-bullied-one, i'm-the-misunderstood-one. stop blaming the circumstances. this has always been far from perfect, but its no excuse. confrontations never work. and your warped interpretations and accusations are really just crap.

emo-ing.

there are times when you just need to think things through.
you dont want any help because you feel like such a fool.
love has played you over, under and pierced right through you.
you loved, and lost, and decided its better to never let love rule.

but take your time to find your feet,
there's a whole world out there for you to meet.
run your own race and find what makes you tick,
while that someone special is sorting through his own grit,

and maybe one day, your fairytale might just come true.


such an emo pic deserves an emo-ish poem. (: hahaha. albeit very unprofessional and unstylish (as compared to the literary greats from A14) but still, i like the pic, and i think its just waiting to find its correct partner in prose/poetry/etc. this pic was kind of a fluke, because i took it while weiqi was just getting ready to pose.

great day out. fantastic views. interesting dinner. comfortable crap. and the best company!

Good Friday.

to love as He loved, originally uploaded by hueythatsme.

(:
a time to remember God's love for us.
and for this special good friday,
to try and spread that love around a little bit more.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

waiting

watching; for that playmate who said he'd come.
hoping; for the tell-tale whistling of "everything's gonna be alright"
waiting; for that friend who never came.